


I promise

by RensSaxophone



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 01:04:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20715539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: Ranmaru has has a 'crush' on Ren for almost a year, but recently Ren's started taking it further.(Lots of angst. Lots of smut.)





	I promise

**Author's Note:**

> I don't write a lot of stuff like this. But this is very long, and I think it's pretty decent.   
There's a lot of insecure Ranmaru.   
Hope you enjoy!

Ren Jinguji was a man who would sleep with anything. 

That wasn't true. Ranmaru knew that wasn't true. But how else could he explain Ren's increased flirting with him? It wasn't gradual, or subtle. Actually... it was Ranmaru's fault. 

It was about two weeks ago, and Ranmaru, Ren and Masato were in the middle of a practice when Masato had left for a moment to grab them all waters and Ren just would not shut the fuck up. Yes, Ren sounded nice. Ranmaru liked his voice. But sometimes, when the younger boy just talked and talked, Ranmaru just wanted a minute of silence. 

"Jinguji. Shut up."

"Oh- my last name? That's cold, Ran. But if you want me to shut up, why don't you make me?" A wink.

Ranmaru knew he shouldn't say anything. When Ren gets like this, you just let him ride it out. But Ranmaru's mouth moved before his brain could stop it- "One of these days I'm going to." 

Shit. He could play it off with a mean look, like he was threatening Ren the same way he'd threaten Camus- he'd gladly shut Camus up with a fist to the face. But even Ranmaru couldn't ignore the suggestive tone his voice took, and Ren didn't miss it either. Ranmaru waited for the teasing laugh, but it never came. Actually, Ren's expression was hard to read. It was almost satisfied? Ranmaru couldn't think of a better word for the face Ren was making.

Masato had come back in at that point, but things hadn't gone completely back to normal. Ren was relentless, and not just for the rest of that day, either. Up until today Ren had been playing dirty- sometimes literally. 

It went from Ren's usual occasional flirt before the practices, to Ren approaching Ranmaru every time they were in the same room so that Ren could say something. Ranmaru was starting to forget that Ren had any other personality trait beyond flirt- and god was it absolutely miserable. Ranmaru could barely take it. Every time Ren would come up with a new pickup line, Ranmaru would feel his heart pound heavy against his chest, borderline painfully. When Ren would walk in the room, Ranmaru would have to look away because he could just feel his face heating up. 

And when Ranmaru tried to dissuade him, he just couldn't find it in himself to be cruel enough to seem serious. He only seemed embarrassed and grumbly and Ranmaru knew that.

"Hey Ran~ It's been almost an hour." Ren would sit close to Ranmaru. Too close- there was plenty of room on the sofa but Ren's arm was pressed against his and fuck Ranmaru couldn't think but- Ren had a shit eating grin on his face and he'd press the back of his hand against Ranmaru's cheek. "Your face is warm. You're taking care of yourself aren't you?" Ren's face is so close to him. His voice is so amused, he knows what he's doing. Of course he knows what he's doing. It's Ren. "If you aren't careful I guess I'm just going to have to take care of you, hmm, senpai?" 

"Fuck off, Ren." It's so uncreative, but Ranmaru's brain just won't work. Ren sees right through it, puts on a mock concerned face but his eyes are tight and it's clear that he thinks he's winning. Ranmaru knows that he is. Ren's index finger presses right under Ranmaru's chin, tilting his head up, and then side to side, examining it. The red flush on his face is ever present. Ren's voice is sultry. Ranmaru can't think of a single moment, ever, where he's thought of the word "sultry". Fitting, that it goes with Ren. 

"Now, now, Ran. Don't be mean." Ren pouts. "Is it because you're unwell? Why don't you drop by my room later so I can make sure you're alright?" Ranmaru has lost his breath- but once again. Ren knows what he's doing. He seems so serious, but Ranmaru can't force himself to believe that he really is. Ren lets Ranmaru's head drop, slowly pulling his hand back. Ranmaru can still feel Ren's finger pressed so close to his throat even when it's gone. "I mean it." Ren's voice is quiet, but oh god the tone of his voice almost makes Ranmaru believe it. Ren stands up off the couch. "I'll be back in my room around six. I do hope that I'll see you there."

Ranmaru is standing outside of Ren's door. It's five minutes until six. He's been in his own room up until now, thinking through everything that happened earlier. He's shifting, he's nervous, and he's being so fuckin' obvious about it- like a little kid trying to sneak a candy bar in front of his parents. ...This is stupid. 

Ranmaru roughly rubs his hands over face, before jerking them away, remembering that he didn't take off his eyeliner. The last thing he needed was black smeared over his hands and across his face. He looked enough of a mess as it was. He could feel his heart beating fast- god, when was the last time he was this physically responsive? Well, the last two weeks. He knew that answer. And before that, every time Ren would make a stupid, dirty joke that would always make Masato flush in embarrassment and threaten to leave the room. Or whenever Ren would get just a little closer than he needed to be, always using some dumb, excuse. 

"You looked cold, Ran."

"I was just having trouble hearing you."

"I was trying to see what you were glaring at." You, idiot.

That last thought would've brought a small smile to Ranmaru's face if he didn't feel so fuckin' miserable. Maybe Ren was just looking for a piece of ass, and Ranmaru let his stupid crush mislead him.

No. Crush wasn't a fair word to use. 

Ranmaru was fuckin' in love with this flirtatious idiot. And when Ranmaru finally admits that to himself, he turns away from Ren's door. He can't do this to himself.

He goes back to his own room, luckily not passing anyone on the way there. One look at his face, twisted up in uncertainty and something almost like pain would get anyone to at least ask him if he were okay. And the answer? No. No, he wasn't fucking okay. When he gets into his room he collapses on his bed, sitting down and hunching over, putting his hands over his face. His eyes burn with embarrassed, angry tears but he isn't going to cry. 

God, please, he doesn't want to cry. 

He wants to get up to go take out his contact, wipe off his eye makeup and stick his head in the shower long enough to get out the massive amount of gel in his hair, and then fucking sleep until this whole day- fuck it, the whole past two weeks, just feel like some weird fever dream. His body feels so heavy, so empty, that it takes him a long time to finally even stand up. He wanders into the bathroom, and for the first time in forever he struggles to take out his contact. The irritation that the five minutes of struggling brings him is overwhelming, and he finds himself gripping the counter to resist taking his anger out on anything else. Like his eye. Maybe he didn't appreciate seeing right now but if he jabbed out his eye, he'd be pretty pissed off at himself tomorrow. 

By the time the dumb pink eye contact comes out and goes back into his case, he's decided that he'll deal with the hair gel and the makeup tomorrow. He walks back to his own bed, and he lays down. He closes his eyes, wanting to sleep, and finding that he can't. All he can do is let his mind wander.

He loves Ren. He never let himself think that before. He couldn't deny that he liked Ren- if he didn't have feelings for Ren, Ren wouldn't get away with any of the shit he liked to pull. But Ranmaru never really let himself think about it. Ren was a flirty guy- he'd flirt with anyone, guy or girl. So it wasn't any surprise that Ren flirted with Ranmaru. During these last two weeks, Ren had obviously been in a mood, and Ranmaru just went with it- Ren would drop it eventually. Ranmaru's best guess was that Ren had been alone for too long, and he just wanted someone. 

Ranmaru didn't really believe that. Ranmaru didn't believe that Ren was innocent- but he also didn't see Ren as the type to only think with his dick. But then why would Ren ask Ranmaru to go to his room? Ranmaru knew Ren wasn't serious about the sick thing. Ren was teasing him, obviously. Ranmaru's chest ached. He wouldn't go there just to be a one night stand. He didn't need to get himself even more hooked on Ren- no matter how much he wanted to get back up and go back to Ren's room and just let Ren fuck him until he couldn't dwell on this shit- Ranmaru lets out a sour laugh that he can't help and he shoves a pillow over his face as he officially loses it. 

Jesus fuckin' christ, Kurosaki. Get yourself together. "Just let Ren fuck me" What the hell am I thinking...? 

It wasn't fair. It was absolutely not fair that one stupid fuckin' boy could make Ranmaru pout and ache like he was some tween girl in middle school. 

"Fuckin' pathetic." Ranmaru mumbles into his pillow. "I'm absolutely fucki-" He stops talking to himself quickly when he hears a knock on his door. He puts on the best 'Leave me alone if you know what's good for you' face that he can muster and throws the door open without checking who it is.

Fuck. He really should've at least looked through the peephole, because in front of his door is Ren. It's got to be around seven. But the look on Ren's face takes Ranmaru aback- Ren looks concerned. Wasn't Ranmaru the one who stood him up? Shouldn't he be angry? Ranmaru would assume that he was the last person Ren wanted to see right now. Ranmaru doesn't have the energy to keep his 'fuck you and go away' face on right now. 

"Re- Jinguji. I-"

Ren shakes his head. "You don't need to give me an excuse, Ran. You don't need one." His voice is soft, his expression even more concerned as he takes Ranmaru in. Ranmaru knows he's a mess. He looks exhausted, his hair all messed up, his contact out, and he's sure that his makeup is probably everywhere. Fuckin' pathetic.

Ren said he didn't need an excuse. Ranmaru would still speak. "If you don't want an excuse then why are you here?"

Ren isn't taken aback by Ranmaru's harsh tone of voice. "I wanted to make sure you were alright. And I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize? Ren I-" 

Ren cuts him off again, Ren's brows are furrowed. "Ranmaru, please. Listen to me." That would've shut Ranmaru up, and Ren would give him a small, soft smile. Ranmaru can't remember seeing Ren act like this. Ranmaru doesn't like it. It's like Ren did something wrong- but he didn't. "I'm worried I sent you the wrong message." Ren breathes out. "It was the way you reacted to me- I had thought you liked me." Ren would frown and Ranmaru's heart would stop. "I like you, Ran. Genuinely." Ren would smile, but it looks sad. Ranmaru really doesn't like that expression on him. It just doesn't fit. "The way you were responding made me hope you felt the same. But if you don't, that's perfectly alright. But I just couldn't bear thinking that you might be thinking that I was trying to use you." 

Ranmaru can't breathe. How was he supposed to take this all in? Ren liked him. Ren thinks Ranmaru doesn't. "I couldn't bear thinking that you might think I was trying to use you." Ranmaru feels his chest constrict further. Ren notices, and his concerned look is back tenfold. Ren steps forward, setting his hands on Ranmaru's biceps in what was clearly meant to be a comforting gesture. "Ran? Are you okay?"

What a fuckin' asshole I am. Ren's got to be hurting, and here he is. Making sure I'm okay. I've got to say something- 

"Ren-" Why was Ranmaru's voice so choked up. "You don't- I'm fine." That's not what he needs to say. 

Ren doesn't believe him. But he slowly takes his hands off of Ranmaru's arms, and Ranmaru reacts before he can think it through, grabbing Ren's wrists. He looks at his hands, and Ren's hands seem smaller than they are, compared to Ranmaru's larger than average ones. Ranmaru's eyes stay trained on his hands, each one loosely holding a wrist. Ren could pull back. Ren probably should- but Ranmaru knows that Ren wouldn't. Ranmaru scowls, glaring at their hands as he desperately tried to find his words. Ren starts to speak, but this time Ranmaru cuts him off with a shake of his head. 

"This time I need you to listen, Ren. I." His words are coming slowly, but he's getting them out. "Do. I do like you. You weren't wrong." He gives a very light squeeze to Ren's wrists. He looks up, alarmed, when Ren pulls his hands away. Did he say something wrong?

But Ren's face is soft. The concern isn't gone. Ren lays his hands lightly against Ranmaru's biceps again, pressing down until Ranmaru gets the idea to step back, and Ren enters his room, closing the door with his foot. Ranmaru's eyes haven't managed to stay on Ren's- but Ren's beautiful fuckin' eyes, filled with worry, haven't once left Ranmaru's face. Ren closes the door with his foot. His hands leave Ranmaru, but one hand slowly makes its way to rest on Ranmaru's cheek. 

Ranmaru wasn't sure he could handle Ren's flirtatious touches and he really isn't sure that he can handle Ren's touch now. It's firm and gentle at the same time- how was that even possible? It was comforting. This was a side of Ren that Ranmaru almost never saw. And he's never seen Ren use it on him. 

"Then talk to me, Ran." Ren's voice sounds pleading. "Did I move too fast?" 

Find your words, Ranmaru. "No, no, you didn't." Ranmaru swallows hard. "I just. Wasn't feeling well." Ranmaru didn't think even Cecil would believe that. 

"Please don't lie to me, Ran. What's wrong?" Ren's thumb cautiously moves across Ranmaru's cheekbone, and the gesture is sweet. It's too sweet- Ranmaru can feel his eyes burn. This was a fever dream. Ranmaru fell asleep, and this was probably that fucker Camus, knocking on his door and Ranmaru dreamed that he answered it and it was Ren. Ren couldn't like Ranmaru- Ranmaru was a total asshole. He was closed off, and he responded to affection with harsh words. He almost never started conversations and he was pretty sure everyone in STARISH and Quartet Night wanted to strangle him and Camus every time they got into it- which was all of the fuckin' time. Not to mention all of the issues he had, just in general. He didn't catch the first tear that managed to fall. He wouldn't have realized he was crying if he hadn't seen the panic on Ren's face.

Ren steps closer, his other hand raising to Ranmaru's other cheek, wiping the tear off of Ranmaru's face with his thumb. "Ran, Ran." Ren mumbles his name, his voice comforting. His unsure comforting actions from before are gone- Ren's only concern right now is Ranmaru, because Ren is just such a good fucking person- 

And Ranmaru was about to mess it up. Again. But he can't help himself from stumbling back and away, away's from Ren's touch that he didn't deserve. "Don't." No. His voice cracked. His voice echoed the word again, tired. Pathetic. This wasn't Ranmaru. Ranmaru was the hardcore rocker. Ranmaru didn't get sad, Ranmaru got angry. His hand curls into a fist, paying attention to the tension and not to the few other tears that he just couldn't fucking stop. "I don't need you to pity me. Just... leave me alone, okay?" He didn't mean that. It came out so harsh- fuck, he didn't mean that. When he hears Ren moving, he can only assume Ren's heading towards the door. 

"No." Ren's voice is right behind Ranmaru. Ren's arms wrap around Ranmaru's waist, and Ren presses himself against Ranmaru's back. Despite the fact that Ren is taller, Ren chooses to lay his head on Ranmaru's shoulder. His voice is a murmur. "Don't lie to me, Ran. I want to know what's wrong." Ren pulls away, too soon- but he isn't gone. His hands are on Ranmaru's arms, to lead him over to the bed. Ranmaru follows, almost numbly. This isn't right. Why is he acting so-

"Ranmaru." Ren's voice is gentle as he encourages Ranmaru to sit down on the bed, but his tone also demands Ranmaru's attention. It's firm. Gentle and firm- like his touch. Ren once again, uses his thumbs to wipe Ranmaru's cheeks clean of tears. His voice drops down to be soft again. "What's on your mind?" His eyebrows furrow. "I can't know unless you tell me."

Ranmaru's voice is deep, hoarse. The words are even more elusive than they were earlier- and he finally settles on, "I'm sorry, Ren."

Ren is taken aback here. Not even his calm demeanor can hide it. "What are you-?" 

Ranmaru shakes his head. "I haven't felt like this. Not ever before in my life." He frowns. "I've been with people." His voice is dry and humorless. "Obviously. But it all felt off. I've never." He turns his head, his eyebrows furrowing. "I can't remember the last time I acted this weak in front of anyone." His voice is so resigned. "This doesn't feel real." He looks at Ren now, the intensity in his eyes surprising even Ren. "I can't believe that you aren't actually in your room, annoyed at me for not showing up and not telling you I wouldn't. I can't believe that you've managed to stand me long enough to like me without giving up on me. I'm a fucking hard ass, Ren. I'm a plain ol' ass, too. Just... you're a little rough around the edges, don't get me wrong." Ren can't stop the very slight intake of breath at Ranmaru's last sentence- he was certainly sounding a lot more like Ranmaru. Ranmaru would continue. "But I can't wrap my head around why someone like you would even give a shit about someone like me." He lets out a very dry laugh, finally dropping his attention away from Ren. "That honest enough?" 

Ren, for once, is silent. He runs his thumbs over Ran's cheeks, softly, and he slides his hands down to his neck, over his shoulders, down his arms until he reaches his hands. He brings Ranmaru's hands up, closer to him, and presses a light kiss on the the rocker's knuckles. Ranmaru's fingers are calloused and rough, but the back of his hands are soft. Ren does have a lot to say. A lot that he disagrees with. A lot that he'd like to correct. But first, he's trying to show that he cares in the best way that he knows how. He knows Ranmaru isn't very used to affection, but that won't stop Ren from trying his best to convey all of the feelings that he wants to. He moves Ranmaru's hands to his own cheeks, his thumb stroking over the top of Ran's hands. 

"Ranmaru." Ren's voice is soft again. "Thank you for being honest with me." He turns his face, presses a soft kiss to Ranmaru's palm, before looking at Ranmaru with a very serious look in his eye. "But you don't need to worry yourself over if you're good enough. Especially not if you're good enough for me. If you could see the way I see you..." Ren would sigh, squeezing Ranmaru's hands. "And don't you dare regret showing me how you're feeling. I don't care if you've broken down sobbing, you're not any less of a person, or a man, or a rocker. You're still the same, strong, hard ass Ran." Ren finally smiles, and Ranmaru finds himself sighing in something that's almost relief.

He's so enamored with Ren's smile that it takes him a minute to finally mumble, "That was sweet- but maybe a little cliche-" Ren lets out a sharp exhale that's almost a laugh, moving Ranmaru's hands down and off of his cheeks so that Ren can lean forward to lightly bump his head against Ran's forehead. A head bump. Ren shakes his head, but the mood in the room is lighter. 

Ren is very close to Ranmaru's face, and he gets closer, his lips hovering inches away from Ranmaru's own, his hand lifting to run his thumb along Ranmaru's jaw, his blue eyes staring into Ranmaru's grey ones. "Can I?" Ren mumbles. 

The act of asking for permission is what does it for Ranmaru- his chest tightens again, but it's different this time. It's not painful. It's not an unwelcome feeling. He leans forward to kiss Ren- and he's a bit rougher than he meant to be. There's a lot of force in the kiss- it's passionate, and thankful, and everything that Ranmaru's wanted for god knows how long and it's even better than he could've ever dared to hope. And Ren only takes long enough to register what's happening before he responds with just as much enthusiasm as Ranmaru. By the time they finally pull back, they're both panting. 

Ren's grin is something that he can't control, and Ranmaru's eyes are the brightest Ren can every remember seeing them- maybe even a little brighter than when he plays his bass. Ren takes just enough time to catch his breath before he leans down and starts to press soft kisses on Ranmaru's skin. He'd start at the corner of Ranmaru's mouth, moving down to his jaw, to right below his ear and on the column of his throat. They're soft, affectionate kisses, and Ranmaru sets his hands on Ren's biceps, just holding on to him, clinging. Ren isn't rushing, just pressing his lips against Ranmaru. He finally makes his way back to Ran's lips, starting with short, soft kisses. They'd slowly work their way up to the same, rough, passionate kisses that their first kiss was, keeping their breath short. Ranmaru's hands have started to wander, raising his hands until they're tangled in Ren's hair. 

Ranmaru would eventually stand, only to push Ren onto his bed with a surprising gentleness. He'd hover over Ren, knees on either side of his legs, and he'd take a minute to look down at the man beneath him. Laying down, Ren's hair is spread across the bed, framing his face, and Ren's face is bright, his chest visibly moving as he catches his breath. "Fuck." Ranmaru breathes out. "God you're so pretty." Ren playfully swats at Ranmaru's shoulder, and Ranmaru lowers his head, kissing the edge of Ren's jaw. "Handsome." Another kiss, closer to his mouth. "Hot." The next kiss lands just shy of Ren's lips. "There aren't even fuckin' words to describe how absolutely fucking gorgeous and breathtaking and fuckin' beautiful you are, Ren." His voice is a mumble, but it doesn't make what he's saying any less genuine. "There's no way this isn't a dream." 

Ranmaru's hand that isn't supporting himself over Ren is on Ren's side, his index finger tracing a random pattern into the shirt as his eyebrows furrow and his eyes finally fall away from Ren's face. Ren gently puts his hands on Ranmaru's face to tilt his face back towards them. 

"Baby. Ran. Look at me." When Ranmaru does, Ren presses his lips quickly and gently to Ranmaru's. His voice is soft. "This isn't a dream. This is all real." He moves his hands down to Ranmaru's shoulders, applying pressure, massaging them for a few seconds. "I promise, okay? This is all real." He presses his forehead to Ranmaru's, closing his eyes for a second, and Ranmaru does the same. He lowers himself, to make it easier on Ren, and Ren takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around Ranmaru, holding him close to himself.

Ranmaru is still for a long moment, and Ren runs his hands through the hair towards the bottom of Ranmaru's neck. It was soft, no gel in that area. Eventually Ranmaru moves his head to press his lips softly against Ren's, before moving down, pressing a kiss against Ren's chin. It's gentle, for Ranmaru. Not nearly as gentle as Ren was, but Ren wasn't complaining. Ranmaru moves down Ren's neck, and down to his collarbone, and the places of Ren's chest that his shirt doesn't cover. After satisfying himself with pressing kisses against Ren's chest he finally moves back to kiss Ren's lips once again, and he's gone back to his rougher, more passionate kisses. Ones Ren happily returns. Ren's hands have moved down to Ranmaru's waist, his fingers trailing over the skin revealed just over his jeans from where his shirt has pulled up. He moves his hands under Ranmaru's shirt- delighting in the way Ranmaru's breath hitches and the way Ranmaru's grip tightens just slightly on his side, his thumb pressing against Ren's hip. And the shaky breath that follows- the way Ranmaru pulls back just a bit to bite his own lip and give Ren a look. 

Ranmaru wants more- he doesn't think that he can ever get enough of Ren. "Do you want to keep going?" Ren mumbles. Ranmaru appreciates him for a few seconds more. His mouth is red around the edges, and a little puffy. His hair, messy, maybe a little tangled- but still framed around his head. Like an angel. Ranmaru's face goes red at that thought- but he gets himself together and dips his head again to kiss Ren, lightly nipping his bottom lip, before looking Ren into the eyes. He glances away for a second before looking into his eyes, his face flushing red once more. "Of course. God, yes." 

Ren leans up to kiss him, this one is light, and he squeezes Ranmaru's arm. "Then I'll be right back." He places a light kiss against Ranmaru's neck, and Ranmaru is confused, but he does move so that Ren can sit up. There's a small part of him that's almost hesitant to let Ren up- especially after pining for so long. Ren notices something off in Ranmaru's expression, the slight tension between his eyebrows that he smooths out with a kiss. "I'll be back." He leans back with a grin, and he winks. "We need supplies, Ran." He runs his fingertips over Ranmaru's knuckles.

"Oh." Ranmaru's face gets a bit red, making Ren's grin widen a bit. "Yeah- I uh... don't have anything in here." Ren finally slides off the bed, and he slips his index finger under Ranmaru's chin, leaning down, pressing one more kiss on Ranmaru's cheek, and his thumb runs under one of Ran's eyes as he mumbles, "Your eyeliners running." He then grins. "It looks sexy as all hell." He purrs. "But now's a good time to wash it off if you want to." He pulls away, and Ranmaru stays silent, watching Ren silently. Ren smiles again, pushing some of Ranmaru's bangs out of the way, and finally moving towards the door. "I'll be back." He repeats it again. A promise.

Ranmaru has to take a minute before he can get up off of his bed. He waits until his heart is under control, and his breathing has returned to normal, but he can't seem to forget the feeling of Ren underneath him, of Ren's fingers on his lower back or Ren's warm breath. Or, oh god, his lips. He could still feel them pressed against his neck, his jaw- his forehead still felt warm. He tried to remind himself of Ren's promise. This isn't a dream. He's going to be back. He's trying to believe it. It isn't that he doesn't trust Ren- he doesn't trust himself.

But he gets up, heads to the bathroom. He grabs a cloth, squirts a bit of his makeup cleaner from his nearly empty bottle, and he rubs at his eyes. One look in the mirror confirms that he's a mess. He doesn't know about the sexy part- he's going to leave that to Ren. Once he's gotten his makeup off, he sticks his head into the shower to get as much gel out as he can. He rubs at his hair with his dry towel, getting it almost entirely dry- though now his hair is flattened against his head, almost covering his eyes. He runs his hands through his hair as he hears his room's door open and his heart starts to beat faster once again. He leans against the bathroom door, his towel wrapped around his shoulders, and he watches Ren close the door behind him. 

"Oh." Ren breathes out, looking at Ranmaru, before a smirk works its way onto his face. He walks up to Ranmaru, nearly chest to chest, taking no time to run his hands through Ranmaru's hair, humming happily. It was incredibly soft. Ranmaru wraps his arms around Ren's waist. It crosses his mind for a second to be more hesitant but with Ren standing this close he can't bring himself to hold back. His hand brushes just a tad bit lower than he meant to, and he can feel whatever Ren had went to his room to go get. He had an idea of what it was- but he'd worry about that when he got there. "I told you I'd be back." Ren kisses right underneath Ranmaru's jaw. Ranmaru's grip tightens around Ren's waist, pressing him against his chest. One of Ren's hands has worked it's way into Ranmaru's back pocket, the other is now wrapped around Ranmaru's shoulder, keeping himself in Ranmaru's embrace. 

They stay still for a moment, before Ren lets out a chuckle. "I think you got part of your shirt wet." He runs his fingers over Ranmaru's shoulder, a large damp patch covers from his mid-back to his neck. "Maybe we should get you out of it." Ren's voice lowers. Husky. Another word that Ranmaru would never think to use, but he has no other word to describe Ren's voice. Ranmaru lets out a low chuckle, but releases Ren so that he can let Ren take his towel, hanging it on the hook before helping Ranmaru with his shirt. 

Ren doesn't even take the time to drop the shirt before he's looking at Ranmaru, taking in the sight. Ranmaru watches Ren's lip that Ren's pulled between his teeth. The look in Ren's eyes makes Ranmaru's breath stop- it's filled with a want that makes Ranmaru feel warm. Ren finally throws Ranmaru's shirt to the side, stepping back up against Ranmaru, his hands finding their way to Ranmaru's hips, running up his sides. "Damn." Ren breathes out, his lips pressing against Ranmaru's collarbone. Ranmaru lets out a grunt- it was hard to even be shy when the look Ren was giving him made him feel so... wanted.

Ren backs Ranmaru up so Ranmaru is leaning against his mostly empty bathroom counter. He leans up to press a kiss to Ranmaru's lips, to his cheeks, to his neck. He isn't fast- but he also isn't slow. At least until he reaches Ranmaru's collar bone again. Ranmaru is watching Ren with a flushed face and shallow breathing. God, Ren was so fuckin pretty. Ren would get slower, knowing that Ranmaru was watching him. He'd press a kiss to the center of Ran's chest. Ren lowers himself so he's kneeling, looking up at Ranmaru through lidded eyes. Ranmaru lets out an audible, shaky breath, his hands holding onto the counter- and Ren seems proud the longer he looks at Ranmaru. He leans forward, his hands gripping Ranmaru's hips, his thumbs resting just below the waistband of Ranmaru's jeans. He licks a strip across Ranmaru's stomach, pulling back slightly and gently blowing on it, and then doing it again just to watch Ranmaru shiver. He'd start to kiss his way lower, just above Ranmaru's jeans. His hands would slide up slightly, and he'd murmur. "Jesus, Ran-" He'd look up at Ranmaru, licking his lips. "I can't tell you how many times I've pictured this, and you look even better than I could have ever imagined." Ren brings his hands to the waistband of Ranmaru's tight jeans, nuzzling the top of Ranmaru's hip with his nose, mumbling against Ranmaru's skin. "Can I, baby? Do you want to keep going?" 

"Fuck, Ren." Ranmaru is breathless. He releases one hand from its death grip on the counter to put it on Ren's cheek, and Ren leans his face into Ranmaru's hand, sending another warm, fuzzy feeling through Ranmaru's chest. 

How can he be so sexy and so damn adorable at the same time? 

Ranmaru swallows hard, trying to remind himself that Ren asked him a question. "But what about you?" He mumbles. He was painfully aware that Ren had been giving him a lot of attention, and he hadn't been nearly as kind. 

But to be fair. It was very difficult when Ren was all over him. It's quite a fuckin' distraction.

Ren turns his head, to kiss the palm of Ranmaru's hand, and his voice is soft, one hand moving to stroke his fingers across the back of Ranmaru's hand. "I'm having the time of my life, sweetheart." Ren would give a grin, turning Ranmaru's hand to lightly nip at one of his fingertips, causing Ranmaru to inhale quickly as Ren would soothe the bite with a kiss. 

Ranmaru still isn't sure, but he also can't doubt Ren. For as much of a fucking tease as he was- he sounded genuine. "I... If you're sure." Ren turns Ranmaru's hand again, putting the tip of Ranmaru's index finger in his mouth and running his tongue over the pad of his finger, causing Ranmaru's face to flush red. Ren looks up at Ranmaru as he slowly lets Ranmaru's finger slip out of his mouth, and presses one more kiss to Ranmaru's palm before running his fingers down Ranmaru's hips, and the along Ranmaru's waistband to unbuckle his belt. Ren does it quickly and smoothly, and had Ranmaru's pants unbuttoned very shortly after. 

Ranmaru isn't sure when he got hard- only knows that he's painfully aroused at this point. And he has a feeling that Ren expected that. Ren pulls Ranmaru's jeans down, running his fingers very, very lightly over Ranmaru's underwear. Ranmaru lets out a sound that's technically a gasp, but it almost sounds like a hiss. And he's only getting it worse as he watches Ren's expression. Ren is incredibly focused, enough to make Ranmaru go red again, his blush spreading down his chest and to his shoulders. Ren leans forward, breathing over Ranmaru's boxers, causing a shudder to go through the man, before pressing light kisses on the outside of his underwear. One of Ranmaru's hands is pressed over his mouth. He isn't making too many audible noises yet but he didn't trust himself. Ren pulls down Ranmaru's underwear, pressing the jeans down with them until they're around Ranmaru's ankles. Ranmaru's - and Ren's, for that matter - shoes are left by the door, but when Ren taps Ranmaru's left ankle to get him to lift his leg, he takes Ranmaru's sock off with the rest of his clothes. When he repeats the same thing with the next leg, Ranmaru is officially naked while Ren is still fully clothed.

Ren doesn't even seem to notice that he hasn't lost anything with his full attention on Ranmaru. He rocks back on his heels, looking up at Ranmaru with a wolfish grin, and he lets out a low whistle, making Ranmaru cover his dark red face with both hands, and Ren lets out a light laugh. The next thing Ranmaru knows, Ren's hands are around his wrists, pulling his hands away to expose his face. "Oh, pretty baby~ You're amazing." Ren leans in, his clothes feeling almost strange on Ranmaru's body, and Ren presses a firm kiss onto Ranmaru's lips and Ranmaru immediately responds. Ren pulls back slightly, to breathe out more compliments. "You're absolutely fucking gorgeous, baby." Ren puts his hands on Ranmaru's cheeks, but then brings them up to his hair, running his hands through it. Ranmaru can't breathe- how could something as simple as Ren cursing turn him on so much? Ren tilts his head, going back in for another kiss at a different angle, before lightly pulling at Ranmaru's hair, causing him to tilt his head back to give Ren easy access to his throat. He lets out another shaky breath, and this time it gets Ren to let out a satisfied sigh. "Are you ready, my love?"

That nickname was what was about to do Ranmaru in.

Ranmaru didn't even think it was possibly to actually come without any direct contact, but if Ren kept fucking talking he thinks he actually might. "Please." He'd gasp out, and before he can even react to his own... plea... Ren grins at him, and the hot and heavy knot in his stomach that forms just from that look keeps Ranmaru from trying to take it back. Ren leans in, kissing him again, and it's soft but god is it intense. He moves so that his mouth is by Ranmaru's ear, and his voice is low. Ranmaru doesn't need to see Ren's face to see the smirk in his mind. "Should I tie up my hair? Or do you want something to hold?" Ranmaru doesn't miss Ren licking his lips as he pulls back, and his breath comes out in a shudder and his eyes close.

Another thing that Ranmaru would never guess could actually turn him on. It's a question about his fucking hair, for god's sake- but it's Ren. Ren could sit here and read fuckin' Moby Dick and as long as he's giving me that look-

Ren runs his thumb over Ranmaru's lip, and Ranmaru's eyes open. "It's alright." There's a smile on Ren's face. Reassuring. "You don't need to be shy." That'd get Ranmaru's face red again. Ranmaru can't even remember the last time he ever fuckin' blushed this much... but damn did Ren find it adorable. To get the cold rocker this undone, this quickly and this easily... Ren wasn't unaffected. By God, was Ranmaru getting to him. Ren's composure was only as good as it was right now because he knew Ranmaru needed it. 

"I don't..." Ranmaru's voice is a mumble. His eyes leave Ren, but Ren demands his attention back by resting his forehead on Ranmaru's. Ranmaru sighs. "I don't want to accidentally hurt you or anything-" He finally admits. It warms Ren's heart. 

"Baby." Ren's hand strokes his cheek. "You won't. I know you won't. But I'll tell you, okay, Ran?" Ranmaru nods, swallowing a bit hard. Ren presses a light kiss to Ranmaru's lips, nipping at his bottom lip and pulling back and smiling at him. "Are you ready, Ran?" Ren would slowly make his way back down to his knees, his hands trailing down over Ranmaru's chest, and down his thighs, before moving to the outsides of his thighs to squeeze lightly at his hips. Fuck, it was hard to breathe. 

Ren's hands pull away from Ranmaru's to gather his own hair in a way that would be easy for Ranmaru to hold. He'd keep it in place with one hand and bring one of Ranmaru's large hands to the back of his head with his free hand. Ranmaru would let his hand replace Ren's, and jesus was Ren's hair just as soft as it looked. Ranmaru brings his free hand forward to brush against Ren's cheekbone, tightening his fingers a bit in Ren's hair, pulling very gently, and Ren would let out a purr. Ren would look up at Ranmaru, waiting, and Ranmaru would squeeze his fingers lightly again, and he'd nod, biting his lip. Ren would wrap his hands around the base of Ranmaru's cock, eliciting an automatic, tighter squeeze of his hair. Ranmaru's free hand is back to gripping the counter. Ren places a soft kiss on Ranmaru's pelvis, trailing them down to the inside of Ranmaru's thigh. His hand isn't moving, just applying light pressure, but it's got Ranmaru breathing heavy, his eyes watching Ren closely. Ren nips at the sensitive skin on the inside of his leg, and this is the first mark that Ren makes. He alternates between sucking, licking, nipping and blowing at the skin until Ranmaru is making soft sounds that make Ren all too aware of how his own erection is straining against his way too tight jeans. Ren finally brings his attention away from the beautiful red mark on the inside of Ran's thigh. "You're so good, baby." Ren encourages, looking up at Ranmaru. 

Ren finally releases his hold on Ranmaru's cock, to lick a wet stripe across the palm of his hand, wrapping his hand back around the base, and then placing a very light kiss against the head of it. Ranmaru is biting down on the side of his hand, trying not to be too noisy as Ren licks the underside of Ranmaru's cock, getting the tightest pull of his hair he had gotten this far, and Ren would let out a quiet moan. He'd move his hand that's not wrapped around Ranmaru up his stomach, pulling his head away, "Are you okay, Ran?" 

Ranmaru has to take a second to remove his hand from his mouth, and Ren grabs it once it's in his reach, running his thumb over the bitemarks with a slight frown. "Yeah- I." Ranmaru's biting down on his tongue, and Ren presses another kiss to his hip. "It's okay if you're a little noisy, Ran. We're far enough that no one will hear, okay?" Ren reassures him.

How can Ren possibly be so concerned about him right now? How can he possibly keep a clear head?

Ranmaru would nod, "Alright." It's breathless, and Ren would place Ranmaru's hand back against the counter, keeping a hand on Ranmaru's for the moment. After another glance upwards to make sure Ranmaru was alright, Ren would get back to giving him attention. He'd take the entire head into his mouth, slowly, and almost immediately he can hear Ranmaru's quiet, deep, moaning. As he takes more of Ranmaru into his mouth, his tongue working around him the best that it can, Ranmaru applies pressure to Ren's hair, and Ren lets out another throaty moan. 

"Oh fuck, god Ren-" It's so breathless. Ranmaru is panting audibly, "God, you're so -ugh. You're so fuckin' good, Ren." Ranmaru's encouragement seems to have a positive affect on Ren, as Ren takes more of Ranmaru, causing Ranmaru to let out a low moan. "I'm not- I'm not going to be able to last Ren." Ranmaru warns, gritting his teeth and furrowing his eyebrows. Ren hears him, squeezing his hand, letting him know it was okay- and he pulls back, before moving forward once more, taking in almost all of Ranmaru. Ranmaru's hand tightens in Ren's hair- it's not the tightest the grip has gotten, but it's the longest Ranmaru has held it, and sure enough, Ren lets out another low moan, longer than the previous as Ranmaru looses it. Ren doesn't pull back, even as Ranmaru comes. And the sounds coming from Ranmaru are so pretty- Ren would do anything to hear more. He swallows, more than happy, to. He feels Ranmaru's grip slacken in his hair, still holding it but very loosely. He cleans Ranmaru off, feeling him shudder, and as soon as Ren pulls off of Ranmaru, Ranmaru's hands are urging him up. 

Ranmaru won't lie- normally the thought of kissing anyone right after they sucked his dick would sound disgusting. But he finds that with Ren, he doesn't care. More than anything he just wants to kiss Ren. He just wants Ren up on his level, even though his knees are weak and his legs are shaky, and he's too aware of the fact that Ren is still fully dressed, and he can feel Ren's hard dick pressing against his stomach through his ridiculous tight jeans. But for now, he's just kissing Ren. Ranmaru holds Ren against him, not giving him much of a break between kisses, just desperately trying to get more of Ren. He can feel Ren palm himself through his jeans, and he moves his lips to Ren's neck, his own hand moving to press against Ren. "Tell me." Ranmaru's voice is gruff, and a little muffled against Ren's neck. 

"Tell me what I can do." Ren's breath is uneven, and it's coming out in gasps as Ranmaru rubs against him. Ranmaru can see why Ren went about this like he did- because he's just started and he can't get enough. 

"Clothes- oh. Yeah, definitely clothes first." Ren would breath out, his hands holding onto Ranmaru. Ranmaru would waste no time in helping Ren out of his shirt, and Ren can't help the exhale of breath that is his laugh when Ranmaru mutters, "Finally." Ren's shirt is quickly on the floor, next to Ranmaru's clothes. Good. Ranmaru doesn't take the same long pause that Ren did, but he does take some time to appreciate Ren. He'd waste no time in feeling Ren, his hands on every available inch of skin.

"Fuck- you're so pretty." Ranmaru would kiss Ren again, hungrily. Ren was almost impressed- Ranmaru had quite the energy for having just come. But he wouldn't expect anything less from Ranmaru. Ranmaru would get his thumbs hooked into the sides of Ren's jeans, pulling him closer, so that Ranmaru's mouth is by Ren's ear, and he's lightly nip at Ren's earlobe. "Can I?" 

Something as simple as permission shouldn't have made Ren feel as warm as he did- but Ranmaru's consideration despite his clearly rough demeanor was sweet enough to get Ren to start smiling. "Please."

Ranmaru is a bit gentler with pulling down Ren's jeans. He'd unbutton them, a large grin on his face when he realizes that Ren isn't wearing underwear. 

Ren was very clearly less shy than Ranmaru- Ren's face was still a bit red, but that was mostly from how hot he was right now. Ranmaru would crouch down to help Ren step out of his jeans, Ren holding onto Ranmaru's broad shoulders to keep him from falling over. Ranmaru was far more comfortable exposing Ren's body over his own- and he really wouldn't be shy about getting an eyeful from his position kneeling in front of Ren. He'd press a chaste kiss against Ren's thigh, nipping roughly, causing a very pretty sound to come from Ren's lips. Ren's pressed against the wall near the door, and one look at Ranmaru's expression almost sends him over the edge. The want in Ranmaru's eyes could almost rival Ren's- and now that Ranmaru had exactly what he wanted in front of him- god, how could he let something this beautiful go untouched?

It's Ranmaru's look that finally turns Ren a bit red- he can't remember seeing anyone look at him like that. "Ran." It's a moan, more than anything.

Ran rubs his cheek against Ren's thigh, turning his head to nip at the skin again before soothing the skin with a kiss. "I- oh." Ren sighs. He's heavily leaning against the wall, his fingers brushing through Ranmaru's hair. 

"Can I?" Ranmaru's question is very gruff, and Ren manages to get himself to nod, and Ranmaru wastes no time. He's not nearly as skilled as Ren was- he's a bit sloppy, and maybe a little overenthusiastic. But damn if it doesn't feel great. Ren wouldn't change anything. His hand tightens in Ranmaru's hair, but he's careful not to lead him. It's a bit... obvious, that Ranmaru has never been on the giving end of a blowjob. But he had paid very close attention to the one Ren gave him, and while he can't take as much of Ren as he'd like to, he does manage to take an impressive amount. He's massaging Ren's hips idly as he takes Ren in, occasionally giving a low hum. Not quite a moan- but damn if it didn't still work on Ren. 

"Oh, baby, baby wait-" Ren is gasping, petting through his hair with one hand, and lightly pressing on Ranmaru's shoulder with his other. Ranmaru goes with the pressure, pulling away from Ren. He looks up at Ren, some drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. Ranmaru looks up at Ren, and for a split second, he's unsure. Ren's still breathing heavy, and he swipes his thumb just under Ran's mouth, wiping away the drool- but Ren can see the emotions swirling in Ranmaru's eyes. "C'mere." He urges Ranmaru to stand up, and he kisses Ranmaru, short but hard. He trails kisses down Ranmaru's neck, to his shoulder, and his hand is massaging Ranmaru's other shoulder. "You did so fucking good, baby." God, Ranmaru feels that sentence through his entire body. "You were doing too good, Ran." Ren mumbles against his shoulder. "Didn't wanna come yet, okay?" Ren kisses Ranmaru's chest, and Ranmaru lets out a small sigh- it's of relief. 

Relief of not disappointing Ren. 

Another thought Ranmaru is surprised to hear- but he can't deny it. "Let's head over to your bed, okay, Ran?" Ran would nod, but they stay in the bathroom for another moment or two, just holding each other. Ren still looked painfully hard, and Ranmaru was definitely starting to recover. How couldn't he? Being in the room with Ren, wearing absolutely nothing- god it's every fantasy he's ever had and more. 

They finally break apart, Ranmaru leading and Ren following right behind, and when Ranmaru stops right before the bed, Ren kisses his shoulder and then laughs. "I forgot something in the bathroom." Ren murmurs. "I'll be right back." When Ranmaru turns to look at Ren, Ren winks. "Keep the bed warm for me, okay, baby?" He's softly slap Ranmaru's ass, smiling at Ranmaru's slightly red expression and amused shake of his head.

"You're incorrigible." Ranmaru can't help his slight grin. 

"You know it." Ren purrs, heading back to the bathroom. He's fully aware of Ranmaru watching his every move. Ren stops in the bathroom, and would crouch down to reach his tight jeans. He'd take out the supplies from his back pockets and walk back into the bed area, Ranmaru looking at the items in his hands with a raised brow. There was a small box, clearly condoms. There were at least about five or six. And - almost more interestingly, a bottle of lube. The lube itself was unimpressive, but what got Ranmaru's heart to flutter just a bit was the fact that both the box and the bottle were unopened. "I've been planning this for a while, y'know." Ren would lay the items down on the bed, and would climb on top of Ranmaru, straddling him, their chests pressed together and their cocks rubbing against each other. Ren's arms wrap around Ranmaru's shoulders, pressing their foreheads together, and Ranmaru can't help but stare into Ren's eyes. They were beautiful. Especially when he was this close. "You and me." Ren rubs his nose against Ranmaru's. "I've been thinking about you for at least a year." Ren runs his hand through Ranmaru's hair- Ranmaru makes an idle note in his head to have his hair down more around Ren. Clearly the boy had something for hair. Ranmaru couldn't blame him. Ranmaru takes the chance to press a kiss to Ren's jaw, listening. Ren would take a deep breath. The first time since he came here to check on Ranmaru that he was fearing rejection- even after everything in the bathroom. "Will you fuck me, Ran?" Ren would give an almost sheepish grin. 

Ranmaru laughs. The kind of laugh that would make his shoulders shake, and the kind he can't just suppress. He'd hold Ren tighter, burying his head in the crook between his head and shoulder. "That was-" Ranmaru tries to force himself to calm down quickly. He doesn't want Ren to get any wrong ideas. "Probably not the most elegant way you could've said that." Ranmaru would let out a snort- not meaning to but not being able to help it. Now he's really hiding his face. When he gets himself under control- and god bless Ren for giving him time to do that, just running his fingers through Ranmaru's hair. "But yeah. I... I mean, I feel the same way about you, Ren. Ren, I- fuck." Ranmaru's biting his lip so hard he can taste iron, and Ren notices, pulling his head back a bit and kissing him, forcing him to let go of his lip. Ren's frowning, running his thumb over Ranmaru's lip. 

Ranmaru was absolutely terrified in this moment. 

Ren, I love you. I don't know for how long I've loved you, but I do. You don't need to love me back. I just want you to know.

Could he ruin this moment? Maybe. But how could he go through with this without at least mentioning it. 

Mentioning it.

Sure. He'll just real casually mention it. 

Hey Ren, how's the weather? By the way, I fucking love you.

He's been quiet for a long time. Ren's started to get worried, his hands back on Ranmaru's cheeks. "Ran? Talk to me." 

Ranmaru closes his eyes for a moment as he gets his thoughts together. He knows what to say. He just needs to say it. It'd be easier to just tell him with his eyes closed- but Ranmaru knows Ren doesn't deserve that. He's open his eyes, and the look on his face is vulnerable. "Ren." His voice is quiet. "I love you. I get it if you don't love me back- but I can't do this and pretend like I don't." 

"Ran, Ran, oh, baby." Ren's eyebrows are furrowed, and he leans forward, pressing soft kisses against Ranmaru's lips, holding him close to him. "I love you, too." He says it so comfortably. "Of course I do, baby. I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't." His voice is so soft, so gentle. So genuine. Ranmaru doesn't have trouble believing him. He just tightens his own grip on Ren's back as Ren moves to press soft kisses against the side of Ranmaru's neck and against Ranmaru's shoulders. 

"I love you, Ren." Ranmaru murmurs. His voice is soft, too.

"I love you, too, Ran." Ren's voice is very certain. "I promise."

There's a moment of silence, both of them just sitting on the bed, wrapped in each other. Finally, Ranmaru takes a deep breath. "Ren. I want to do this. As long as you wanna do this, too."

"God, yes." Ren breathes out. "I want to do this." He pulls away to look at Ranmaru and smile. "I want to do this with you. You, and only you, Ran." He kisses Ranmaru's chin, just below his lips.

"You're uh..." Ranmaru clears his throat, a bit embarrassed. "I might need you to walk me through this." 

"Of course." Ren rubs Ranmaru's bicep, another soft smile. He'd kiss Ranmaru again, softly at first, slowly growing more demanding. He licks at Ranmaru's bottom lip and Ranmaru parts his lips, letting Ren's tongue enter his own mouth. It was a bit of a messy kiss, but it isn't like Ranmaru gives a shit. When they pull away, Ren and Ranmaru are breathing heavy, leaning against each other, before Ren carefully climbs off of Ranmaru's lap. He takes Ranmaru's hand, maintaining eye contact the entire time as he puts Ranmaru's index finger in his mouth, the pad of his finger resting on the roof of Ren's mouth, Ren's tongue running along the underside of his fingers. Ranmaru's breaths come fast and heavy- another moment of if this were anyone but Ren.

Ren pulls his index finger out of his mouth, but then takes in both Ran's index and middle finger, humming softly. He'd pull away, "Warm up." Ren steps closer to nuzzle against the crook of Ranmaru's neck. Ranmaru understood enough what he needed to do- he hadn't ever done anything like this but he wasn't entirely ignorant. 

Ranmaru had no idea this was Ren's first time as well- Not that he would've minded if it hadn't been. Ren seemed to be considering what position it'd be best to be in, and Ranmaru would start to bit on his lip before Ren would shoot him a stern look that would make him stop. "Are you sure this is enough?" Ranmaru would take one of Ren's hands with the hand that wasn't "prepped". He'd copy what Ren did earlier, kissing the palm of Ren's hand. "Maybe I should use some lube too. To be safe." He'd mumble. Ren would smile at Ranmaru, and this is when it would finally click that Ren didn't really know what he was doing any better than Ranmaru did. Ranmaru would stand, pulling Ren closer to him. "You're sure you want to do this?" He'd mumble. "I don't want to hurt you. You're going to talk to me, right?"

Despite how quick Ren is to assure Ranmaru that he's fine, he's happy. He's extremely glad that Ranmaru worrying about him. He likes the feeling of Ranmaru caring for him. "Of course I'm going to talk to you, Ran. I promise that if it hurts I'll tell you, alright?" He presses a kiss to Ranmaru's collarbone. "But I think you're right." He'd hum. "Let me figure out how we're gonna do this, and then we'll make sure we're both doing it right." Ranmaru would nod. "Don't worry, baby. I did research." He'd kiss Ranmaru's neck, a line from just under his ear to where his shoulder and neck connect. 

"I trust you." Ranmaru says, his voice quiet. 

"Thank you." There's another moment where neither of them proceed. They just sit there, still. And then Ren breaks it off, nodding. "Okay. I think that for this it might just be easy to lie on my back." 

"You get comfortable." Ranmaru presses a kiss to Ren's lips. Somehow, he thinks, he's still more nervous than Ren is. "I'll get ready." Ranmaru is really trying to focus on opening the brand new bottle of lube and making sure that he's got enough that this isn't going to hurt. This is the first few seconds of silence where he gets to really think about and appreciate that - holy fuck, Ren wants me to be his first.

He was absolutely going to fucking do this right. 

Fuck- Ranmaru has to stop to look over and appreciate Ren. An absolute fucking god, spread out, naked on his bed, his legs bent and spread. Ranmaru almost drops the bottle from his hands. How the fuck did he earn this? He sits on the side of the bed, closing the bottle and tossing it onto an empty part of the bed, pressing a kiss to the side of Ren's knee. The way Ren looks at him- Ranmaru may have been the one to tell Ren that he trusts him, but the obvious trust Ren also has in Ranmaru has him speechless. And that's a feeling the man only seems to get when he's around Ren.

"Tell me if it hurts." Ranmaru's voice is protective. That's the only way he can describe it to himself- even if it sounds silly, to be protective. Especially because if Ren gets hurt, it's on Ranmaru. 

Ren isn't going to get hurt. I'm not going to hurt him. He's going to tell me if I am, and then we'll stop- and nothing is going to happen.

Ren must know what Ranmaru is thinking, but he's patient. An absolute saint. Something that Ranmaru doesn't deserve. Something not even human. Jesus. 

Ranmaru's uncoated hand travels down the inside of Ren's leg, softer touches than Ren is used to from Ranmaru. It was touching, to see how careful Ranmaru was being. Ranmaru uses the hand coated in lube to slowly stroke Ren's cock up and down, causing a groan from the man, and a chuckle from Ranmaru. Ranmaru would bring his hand lower, lightly touching Ren's opening. Fuck- the view Ranmaru got, looking down at Ren who has one hand curled into the blanket and one hand reaching for Ranmaru's free one. Ranmaru takes Ren's hand, returning his focus onto the small circles he was making, trying to make sure that some of the lubricant made it's way onto Ren himself. He'd press lightly, not enough to enter Ren, but enough to get some pretty, choked up noises from Ren. 

"Are you ready?" Ranmaru mumbles, looking at Ren's face. 

"God, yes, please, Ranmaru, please." Ranmaru lets out a very choked sounding breath, nipping the inside of Ren's thigh, before pressing a finger into Ren. He'd go slow, achingly slow, and he'd still. Ren would squeeze Ranmaru's hand. "It's- I'm okay, Ran. You can move. I'm okay." Ranmaru would slowly fuck Ren with one finger, slowly stretching him out until Ren squeezed his hand again. "You can- you can do another one baby, I'm ready- fuck." Ranmaru was still going slow, still being patient- but the more he saw Ren writhe underneath him the more ambitious he gets. Ren is trying his hardest to keep his eyes on Ranmaru- but after Ranmaru hits a spot that makes Ren see stars, he's finding it hard to keep his eyes from rolling back into his head. Ranmaru leans over Ren, keeping his fingers inside of him, and he presses his lips to Ren's. Ren's hands move to the back of Ranmaru's head, tugging lightly on his hair, moving down to his shoulders. Ren moans into Ranmaru's mouth as Ranmaru spreads his fingers slightly.

"Ranmaru..." That was a whine. 

Ranmaru's lips leave Ren's mouth- he could get addicted to having Ren like this. Spread out, a mess, whining his name, falling apart at his hands. He's kissing down Ren's chest. "You doing okay, babe?" Ranmaru looks at Ren, who lets out another moan.

"Oh God, Ran, yeah, I'm- Oh fuck."

Ranmaru kisses Ren's stomach. "D'you want me to do one more finger?" 

Ren hesitates, thinking it over, and Ran's fingers still, wanting to make sure that Ren can think it through straight. Ren's face is a darker shade of red than usual, and he nods. "Y-yeah. Just in case." He has to pant out his answer. 

"Course, Ren. I'll go as slow as you need. You just let me know." Ranmaru kisses Ren again on the lips, and he slowly adds a third finger, releasing a loud moan from Ren, only muffled slightly by Ranmaru's mouth over his own. 

If Ren had been squirming before, it was nothing compared to now- Ren's back was arching off the bed, his hips bucking. Ranmaru couldn't think of anything that could top this moment. 

Just ask his bass. He's always been good with his fingers.

His next thought came smugly.

Ren can vouch for me now, too.

Ren reaches up to grab Ranmaru's biceps, nodding slightly. "I, yeah. Okay. I... I'm ready Ran. Please." 

"You're sure?" Ranmaru didn't want to wait anymore. He felt absolutely on the edge of his limit- but he needed to know that Ren wasn't pushing himself. 

Ren grabs Ranmaru's face, pulling him down. "I promise." He breathes out, staring into Ranmaru's eyes.

Ranmaru slowly and carefully pulls his fingers out of Ren, giving him another kiss as he backs up to get the lube and the condoms. Sure, the condoms were lubricated- but he couldn't be too careful. 

"How do you want to do this, Ren?" Ranmaru would slide his hand down Ren's thigh, massaging it. Ren would slide his tongue over his bottom lip.

"I think like this. I'd like to look at you." Ren gives a sultry look, and then a crooked smile. Ranmaru felt like Ren might be more nervous about this than he was letting on- but he could see it in his eyes that he wanted this too. That wouldn't stop Ranmaru from checking as he'd climb onto the bed to hover over Ren. He'd look in his eyes, completely serious, and Ren would meet the look. 

"You want to do this? You're okay? You'll tell me if you need me to stop?" Ren grabs Ranmaru's cheeks. 

"Yes, yes, and yes. You won't hurt me. I know you won't. I want this, so bad, Ranmaru. Do you?" 

"Of course." Ranmaru's answer is immediate. 

"Hey, Ran?" 

"Ren?"

Ren gives a goofy smile. "I love you." 

Ranmaru's chest feels fuzzy, and warm, and he leans down to put all of the absolute fucking joy he feels every time Ren says that into a kiss. "I love you, too."

Ren nods. "Okay, I'm ready." Ranmaru is careful, He reaches down, lightly presses against Ren with a finger, presses in and curls against Ren, hitting a spot that makes Ren break, just a little, before he pulls out and carefully aligns himself with Ren's entrance. He carefully pushes in, very slowly, and Ren's grip tightens on Ranmaru's shoulders. He looks focused- a little but uncomfortable. Ranmaru stills. 

Ren waits a moment. A little for himself. A little for Ren. He nods. Ranmaru pushes in slowly, and Ren doesn't squeeze his shoulders to pause him until Ranmaru is fully pressed against Ren. Ranmaru is gasping, panting- holy fuck does Ren feel so good.

He waits, leaning against Ren, and he nuzzles against Ren's chest, "Are you okay?" His voice is muffled by Ren's skin. 

"I'm okay, Ran. You're so good." Ren smiles. "I just need a second." 

"Of course." Ranmaru is very careful to stay still. Far more still than he probably even needs to be. Ren would run a hand through Ranmaru's hair, "Alright, my love. Just move slowly at first." 

Ranmaru appreciated Ren's full answers- it put him at ease, knowing exactly what Ren needed. He'd move, very slowly, and he'd bring his still slick hand in between them, slowly rubbing Ren up and down. Ren moans, slowly, bringing his legs up to wrap around Ranmaru. 

"God, Ran, you're so good. You're so good, baby. I love you so much." Ren's sentences come out between heavy breaths, and it's a miracle they're even coherent, what with Ranmaru and everything he's doing.

"Fuck, I - ugh, I fucking... God I love you, too, Ren. I love you." Ranmaru kisses Ren, before letting his head drop onto Ren's chest. Ren's hips would start to move, meeting Ranmaru's thrusts. 

"I'm good, baby. I'm good. You don't need to hold back." Ren coos, still panting, but it does get Ranmaru to let go. He gets faster, a bit rougher, but it's nothing Ren can't handle. 

"I don't think I can hold back anymore, Ren." Ranmaru warns. 

"You're okay- I'm... I'm real close too, Ran."

Ren shudders when Ranmaru gets more focused on the hand job, aligning perfectly with his thrusts, and as Ren comes, covering both his chest and Ranmaru's, he moans out Ran's name.

"Oh, Ran, my love, fuck!" Ren's hand closes in Ranmaru's hair, and with Ren calling out his name, Ranmaru comes as well. As soon as they both come down, Ranmaru carefully sets himself down, resting on Ren's chest. They were both a mess. Sweaty, sticky- Ranmaru still hadn't actually pulled out of Ren. But right now that didn't matter. Ren would wrap his arms around Ranmaru, murmuring quietly. "You were so good, baby. Thank you. I love you."

Something about Ren thanking him would get Ranmaru to let out a tired chuckle. "I love you, too, Ren. So much. But I- ughh. I gotta pull out, okay?" Ren nods, and Ranmaru forces himself to get back up, despite his entire body protesting. He'd pull out of Ren, as carefully as he could, and he'd frown when Ren would wince. 

Ren would smile quickly after, "Hey, hey, don't worry. I'm okay. I promise."

"As long as you're sure." Ranmaru says gruffly, only pausing for a second before getting himself off the bed. 

"No, wait, come back." Ren whines, reaching out an arm lazily for Ranmaru. Ranmaru would catch his hand, kissing the back of Ren's hand. 

"I'll be right back. You made a mess of both of us and I don't want to get it all over my bed."

"How about I make you a deal?" Ren turns his head, grinning, not letting go of Ranmaru's hand. 

"Hmm?" Ranmaru raised an eyebrow. He didn't know why he was even fighting this. He knew he was going to give in, and he was pretty sure Ren knew that too. 

"If you lay down with me for a while, we can just go take a shower together when we get up." 

Ranmaru scoffs, but he's entertained. "I'll meet you halfway. Let me get rid of the condom, and get some tissue paper to clean up your mess before it dries. Then I'll lay down and we can take a shower then, okay?"

Ren groans dramatically, "If you kiss me, I think I can abide. But it will be hard."

"I think you'll be able to survive." Ranmaru says as he leans down, pressing a gentle kiss onto Ren's lips. He sighs, contentedly. He finally lets Ranmaru go. Ranmaru ties a knot in the condom, throwing it in his trash can, before walking into the bathroom. He washes his own stomach and chest off while he's in the bathroom. He then puts back on his underwear from earlier- if they were taking a shower soon there wasn't a real need to change into new ones yet. 

Not like these are actually dirty, anyways. Tch.

He normally didn't take off his underwear this early. Jinguji. He'd bring a decent amount of tissue paper back into the bedroom to clean up Ren. To Ren's credit, he's stayed on his back, and hasn't gotten the mess all over Ranmaru's sheets. Thank God. 

He wipes at Ren's stomach until it's clean, and Ren's eyes stay closed the entire time, but the smile on his face is proof that he's awake. Ranmaru throws away the gross tissues.

He got pretty fucked. I guess I can take care of him right now.

Ranmaru leans down, carefully pulling Ren further up the mattress so that he can get him under the covers. Ren opens his eyes a bit, winces slightly, and Ranmaru frowns. "You okay?"

"I will be." Ren smiles at Ranmaru, and smiles wider as Ranmaru tucks him in. "I am now. But I'll be better when you're laying down with me." As Ranmaru starts to go around to climb in on the other side of the bed, Ren gives a light tug at Ranmaru's underwear before Ran pulls away to walk around, but not before throwing the lube and condoms into his dresser drawer. "What're those?"

"I know you don't believe in underwear Ren, but the rest of the world would agree that they're useful."

"But you don't need to wear them with me, you know." Ranmaru is in the bed at this point, climbing under the covers. Ren has already wormed his way underneath Ranmaru's arm. He's leaning against Ranmaru's chest, looking up at him. "You're beautiful, y'know that?" When Ranmaru scoffs, Ren gives a light frown. "I'm serious." He still looks sleepy, but his expression is very serious. "You're sexy. Inside and out. You don't need to be shy around me because I love all of you." Ren closes his eyes, cuddling up closer to Ranmaru, using his chest as a pillow. He already sounds like he's about to be out of it, but he still says, "I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. But I hope you're comfortable around me." He gives a smile, and a yawn. "Especially after the hell of a night we just had."

Ranmaru makes an amused noise, holding Ren close, and he notices that Ren falls asleep very quickly. Ranmaru isn't far behind.

Ranmaru wakes up slowly, groggily. He feels tired. And kind of gross. He'd groan aloud, it was another fuckin' wet dream about Ren. He was real sick of cleaning his sheets. He hasn't opened his eyes yet, thinking back on his dream. God what he wouldn't give to relive that one. Maybe a little less... pathetically. He hoped that if he really could get with Ren he'd be a lot cooler than that.

Ranmaru pushes himself up, and as he starts to sit up, he hears a, "Not yet." And something pushes his shoulders down. He turns his head to see Ren- his face partially buried in the pillow. He looks tired, but he also looks awake. He frowns a little bit when Ranmaru starts, looking surprised. "Are you alright?"

Ranmaru's back down on the bed. He's lying on his back, but his head is turned towards Ren. Ren's a mess. His hair is messy, and tangled, and he smells like sex. Or maybe that's Ranmaru. Probably both of them. "Yeah. Think so." 

Ren's still here.

That thought shouldn't make Ranmaru as happy as it does. Of course Ren is still here- It seemed pretty obvious last night that this wasn't just a one night stand situation. And Ren really wasn't the type to play around with people's feelings. Ren would move closer to Ranmaru, more awake now. He'd move to where he was last night, laying on Ranmaru's chest. This time he'd lazily run the tip of his index finger over Ranmaru's stomach. "Are you sure?" 

Reminds me of last night.

Clearly Ranmaru wasn't the only one who worried. "Don't lie to me, Ranmaru." Ren says softly. "I don't care what you have to say, or what you're feeling. I'm not going to judge you for any of it."

Ranmaru sighs. How long has Ren been able to read him this well? Well... if he figured out that Ranmaru felt the same way, it must've been at least two weeks ago. They've known each other since they were kids, though. Ren's movements would still and Ranmaru would realize that he's been quiet for too long. "I'm just glad you're still here." His voice is soft and small. 

Ren leans up on one elbow, the frown back on his face. Ranmaru didn't like that expression. "And from here on out, I'm always going to be." His voice softens, turns into an almost reminding tone. "I love you." 

Ranmaru would move, pulling Ren on top of him, kissing him. Kissing him long enough to wipe away Ren's frown. He was fine. "I love you, too." He mumbles against Ren's lips. 

Ren finally smiles. "We should probably get into the shower." 

"Oh, yeah. That." Ranmaru doesn't sound like he's in much of a rush. The bed's much more fun. Ren swats at Ranmaru's shoulder and Ranmaru begrudgingly lets Ren go. 

Ranmaru sits up, brushing his blankets off of himself, and he'd make his way to the bathroom. Ren's already in there, getting the water warm. It was very domestic. It was nice. And the view- he'd look over at Ren, completely naked. That was nice, too. 

Ren would turn to Ranmaru once he's noticed that he's still... somewhat clothed. He'd walk up to Ranmaru, wrapping his arms around his neck, tilting his head to kiss him once, tilting his head again to kiss him at a different angle. He'd lightly bump his nose against Ranmaru's. "You're not going to get into the shower in your underwear, are you?" 

"No." Ranmaru doesn't make a move to take them off, so Ren drops his hands to Ranmaru's waist, hooking his fingers into the edges of Ranmaru's underwear. 

"Can I?" Ranmaru goes a bit pink, looking away, but he nods. Ren takes Ranmaru's chin between his index finger and thumb, turning Ranmaru's head to face him. He kisses him, lightly. "You're beautiful." It's a soft murmur, but it's genuine. "I'll tell you that as many times as you need to hear it." Ren presses a kiss to the center of Ranmaru's chest, before pushing down his boxers, taking Ranmaru's hands once they were around his ankles to get him to step out of them. "I think the water's warm."

Ren is the first one into the shower- and he turns in time to see Ranmaru step in. Ranmaru had never been in a single person shower with anyone else before. And honestly- he wasn't completely hard, but he wasn't soft. And Ren clearly wasn't either. Ren steps closer to Ranmaru, pressing his lips to his shoulder. The spray was hitting them both, Ren's back is getting the most of it, however, his hair sticking around his face. "Looks like you've got a friend." Ren whispers into Ranmaru's ear- and Ranmaru can't stop his chuckle, but it stops and turns into a gasp once Ren's grabbed onto Ranmaru, stroking up and down once and then just resting his hand on Ranmaru's cock, licking the water off of his lips. 

Ranmaru can't stop the moans, and Ren sighs happily, listening to him. "Y'know baby-" Ren says, starting to move his hand again, "No one's going to hear you over the water." Ren nips at Ranmaru's shoulder. "You can be louder in here."

"Funny." Ranmaru grunts out. "Because I'm pretty sure that you're the screamer out of the two of us." He grins, though it turns into a deeper moan as Ren speeds up his hand job, making Ranmaru's head fall onto Ren's shoulder. "I bet you'd make some real pretty sounds if I fucked you, Ran~" 

Ranmaru knows that when he says this, it's mostly him talking. Though the aggressive handjob he was getting helped the idea even more- "Then do it." Ren's hand stutters when Ranmaru gasps that out against his neck. "I mean it." He gasps. "I want you to fuck me, Ren. Oooh, God-" 

"Are you sure baby?" Ren's eyes are lidded, oh god, just thinking of it sends Ren close to the edge with the image alone. "Do you really want me to fuck you, Ran? Make you scream out my name like I did yours?" That's what sends Ranmaru over the edge, most of his cum landing in Ren's hand, though some makes it up his arm and on his stomach. Ren brings his hand up, licking his palm with a smirk that makes Ranmaru's knees weaker than they already are. He lets the water wash off the rest on his hand, trailing over his stomach and getting most of that as well. Even after Ren's sent him over the edge, though, Ranmaru's still thinking about it. He's nervous. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want it just as badly as Ren seems to. 

"I'm completely sure, Ren." Ranmaru says, with a nip at Ren's shoulders. Now that he can focus again, his own hand goes to Ren's cock, running his fingers over it, teasing- sending a shudder down Ren's spine. Now it's Ranmaru supporting Ren. "I want to try something." 

"Good." Ren breathes out. "Because I want to try something, too. But I think you need a break first, baby. You just came a second ago-" He has to suck in a breath through gritted teeth when Ranmaru's thumb runs under the head of his cock, another pretty shudder going through Ren's lean body. 

"Don't worry about me, Ren. I'm alright." Ranmaru mumbles. "Here, hold onto my shoulders. Let me know if you feel unstable." Ranmaru kneels down, the water hitting him less now that he's got Ren as a shield. 

"Oh, fuck, baby- I already feel unstable." Ren lets out a light, stuttering laugh, but he holds onto Ranmaru's shoulders. Ranmaru goes less aggressively than he did last time, but he still doesn't waste time in putting Ren's cock in his mouth. He puts part of it in his mouth, his mouth feeling full, but not enough that his jaw feels stiff. He gets what he can't fit in his mouth with his hand, stroking. "Oh, God, Ran, I'm not going to last v-very long." He runs a hand through Ranmaru's hair, though Ranmaru brings up a hand to return Ren's hand to his shoulder, which makes Ren give a shaky laugh. "I know what you're doing-" His breathing is coming heavier. "If you can't swallow, or you don't want to- Oh, oh god, Baby, I can't hold it anymore I-" Ranmaru squeezes Ren's hand, letting him know that it was okay. Ranmaru isn't Ren. When Ren comes, Ranmaru can't hide the slightly disgusted look. It was bitter- and weird. Ren removes one hand from Ran's shoulders to wipe a bit of come off of the side of Ran's mouth. Ranmaru hadn't managed to get it all, and Ren reminds him with a gentle but tired smile - "Don't force yourself. You don't have to swallow, Ran." 

Ranmaru can't do it- he has to step out of the shower, lean over the toilet. He tries to do it quickly and quietly, but he can feel Ren watching him. He climbs back in the shower, with a bit of a wince. "Sorry."

Ren puts his hand on Ranmaru's cheek, and his thumb over Ranmaru's lips. "I told you that you didn't need to." Ren kisses his forehead. "It's fine if you don't ever want to. I'm not going to ask you to do anything you don't want." 

"It wasn't that I didn't want to- I just-" Ranmaru makes a bit of a face, mumbling against Ren's thumb, and Ren laughs.

"I know. It's an acquired taste." Ren then lowers his hand, to nuzzle into Ranmaru's neck. "But you, mi amour, taste delicious. But that's just special to you."

Ranmaru scoffs. "Delicious." He shakes his head, but he can't help but to laugh when Ren starts laughing. Once they've settled down, Ren sighs.

"We should probably wash ourselves off before the water gets cold." 

Ranmaru would hum, running his hand through Ren's wet hair. "But what about your idea?" Ren would nip the side of Ranmaru's neck. 

"I didn't forget. Let's wash off, and then I'll talk to you about it, okay?" Ranmaru would nod. He'd wash himself off fairly quickly, as Ren washes himself off. But then Ren turns, his back to Ranmaru, "Hey Ran," He'd glance over his shoulder with a grin. "Would you mind helping with my hair." Ranmaru chuckles, shaking his head a bit- but he'd help. Of course he would. He'd hum a random, rock rhythm as he rubs shampoo into Ren's hair, occasionally tugging just a bit more than he needs to- and every time he would Ren would let out a little hum of his own. He'd help Ren with the conditioner, and Ren would insist that he help Ranmaru with his hair, despite that fact that Ranmaru's hair is entirely manageable. 

By the time they're clean, the water is barely warm, but it isn't so uncomfortable that they need to get out. At this point, Ranmaru's back is facing Ren, and Ren is pressed against Ranmaru, resting his chin on Ran's shoulder. "Did you really want to try?" Ren asks softly. He kisses the back of Ranmaru's neck, massaging the small of Ranmaru's back. His voice is patient. 

"Yes." Ranmaru's answer comes quickly and confidently. 

"You aren't saying that because you think it's what I want to hear, are you?" Ren's voice is still soft, but it's a bit stern now, as well. 

"I'm not." Ranmaru sets his hand over Ren's hand that lays over his stomach. It's almost like he can feel how nervous he is. He really does want to try this but he's just as nervous as he was yesterday. He knows Ren'll take care of him but-

"Then-" Ren would turn off the water. "Do you want to try to start off slow, and see if you want to keep going?" Ranmaru would nod. Ren seems to be acting carefully. He isn't unsure enough about Ranmaru's feelings to stop- but he still wants to be extra patient, and extra careful. "Let's get dried off, Ran." 

Ranmaru steps out of the shower, by habit grabbing the towel to dry himself off. Ren stays in the doorway to the shower, watching Ranmaru. Ran pauses, realizing he hadn't grabbed a towel for Ren, his face growing a bit red. "Oh, shit, sorry." 

Ren lets out a light laugh, smiling at Ranmaru as he goes to grab Ren one of his extra towels. "I'm not complaining. I was enjoying the show." Ranmaru shakes his head, chuckling a bit. 

"Cute." He throws the towel at Ren, who catches it, drying himself off. He gets his hair as dry as it will go, and then he pulls his hair up into a bun. At least it wasn't dripping. Ranmaru doesn't have the same problem and manages to get most of his hair dry fairly easy. Neither of them bother with clothes. 

"How do you want to do this, baby?" Ren asks, once again taking his place right behind Ranmaru. He puts his hands on Ran's hips, squeezing lightly. Ranmaru had come up with his answer- but he's a lot more shy when it comes to actually telling Ren. "There's no wrong answer."

"You're so fuckin' patient. I don't deserve you." Ran takes one of Ren's hands from his waist to press his lips against the back of his hand, before turning it to kiss his palm. 

"You deserve more than me, Ran." Ren says softly. He sighs at the ensuing silence. "I have a long time to make you believe that." 

Ranmaru starts to bite his lip, but he stops. A mix of the sting from yesterday's cut and Ranmaru also doesn't feel like getting lectured by Ren. He breathes out. "Okay, I think I know what I want to do." 

Ren's head perks up, and he hums. "Anything." 

Ranmaru has to take another deep breath in, and Ren can see his flush creeping down the back of his neck. "You don't need to be embarrassed Ran. Whatever is easiest for you." Ranmaru nods, steeling himself to climb on the bed before he hesitates too long and Ren starts to think he doesn't want to do this. Once Ranmaru is on the bed, he kneels down, his knees in the middle of the bed. Ren smiles softly at him, and Ranmaru runs his tongue over his teeth as he bends down to place his forearms on the bed. Ren runs a hand over Ranmaru's back, leaning over him to press kisses along his spine. Ranmaru lets out a shaky breath. "Are you okay?" Ranmaru only nods, and Ren runs his fingers over Ranmaru's tight fists. "Can you talk to me, Ran?" His voice is soft. "I want to hear your voice." He runs his hands through Ranmaru's hair, scratching the top of his head lightly. Ranmaru hums a bit. 

"I'm okay, Ren. It's just." Ranmaru wants to drop his head, but he doesn't want to worry Ranmaru. "I'm trying to get used to this is all. Really." 

"That's alright, Ran." Ren takes his hand out of Ranmaru's hair. "You look so pretty, though, baby. Trust me." He slides his hand down Ranmaru's back. "Let me go grab something. I'll be right back." Ren would head over to the bathroom, and Ranmaru would wait until he was a few steps away before he'd watch. But he'd catch Ren's face coming back- 

Ren's face is flushed a bit, looking at Ranmaru. He'd lick his lips, pausing to take Ranmaru in. Naked, waiting for him, vulnerable. There was lust, of course- damn, Ren would be surprised that he was already hard again, but one look at Ranmaru would tell him that there was no real surprise there. But there was a warm feeling in his chest too- love. He felt it because it was Ranmaru. Because Ranmaru was waiting there for him. Because even though Ranmaru was nervous, this pose was Ranmaru's choice.  
Ren would come back with a towel, "Can I have you lift your knees, Ran?" 

Ranmaru would give a weak chuckle, "You just want to watch me do push ups, don't you?" He'd tease, going into a plank position while Ren adjusted the towel beneath him, giving Ranmaru's ass a gentle pat to let him know he could put his knees back down. 

"I was really trying to save your bed sheets, but I'd never complain about getting to see you work out." Ren would smile at him, and it did seem to put Ran a little more at ease. Ren would lean down, placing a kiss on Ran's lower back. "Are you ready?" 

Ranmaru would nod, before remembering Ren's request. "Yeah. Yeah. M'ready." He'd run his tongue over his tongue, hissing a bit as he presses against his cut. Ren would sigh, running his fingers up Ranmaru's spine softly, watching him shiver. He'd them reach into the dresser drawer and take out the bottle of lube. 

"Remember. If you want to stop, we can stop. Anytime." Ren's hand is back running through Ranmaru's hair. Ranmaru never really had a thing for hair, but he was starting to think that Ren's addiction was starting to rub off on him. Or maybe he just really liked having Ren run his hands through his hair. He did find it pretty enjoyable to tug on Ren's hair. 

"I know, Ren. I know." Ranmaru pauses for a second, and then adds. "Thanks."

"You don't need to thank me, Ran. I know you'd do the same for me."

"And I know you'd thank me for doing it." Ranmaru can't help the small grin on his face, and Ren would chuckle. When Ren sets a knee down on the bed, Ranmaru looks away. When he hears the cap, he looks down, setting his forehead on his forearms. Ren would sigh.

"I can't see your face, my love. So if you're uncomfortable, please don't hide it."

"I'll tell you Ren." Ranmaru mumbles, but loud enough for Ren to hear it. Ren bends down to press a kiss at the base of Ranmaru's spine. He finally brings his hand to Ranmaru's entrance, circling it so lightly that Ranmaru barely feels it at first. He tries to focus on breathing, and relaxing. He knows that tensing up is going to make it worse on both of them- and he didn't want to accidentally hurt Ren. Or himself. 

Ren's free hand is rubbing itself up and down Ranmaru's back in a comforting manner. There's more pressure on Ranmaru. It's alien. Strange. But not entirely unwelcome. "Are you ready, Ran?" 

"Yeah, yeah. You can go ahead." Ranmaru's answer is a bit stressed- but not enough to make Ren stop. Ranmaru's shoulders shift when Ren's finger enters him, and his eyebrows furrow. One finger wasn't too bad. It was weird as fuck- but he could handle this. 

"You're doing great." Ren mumbles. He's focused on Ranmaru entirely, but damn, there's no way he couldn't pretend that this wasn't affecting him. It was only natural to let Ranmaru top Ren. Especially first- Ren knew that Ranmaru would be more comfortable in a dominating position, and he figured they'd eventually get around to seeing if Ranmaru would be into bottoming. Ren had no idea it would happen so quickly. Even if Ranmaru decided that he didn't like this, Ren was grateful that he was trying to do this for him. 

Even if Ranmaru wanted to stop right now, Ren was happy. There was no way to miss the trust in this gesture.

Especially for someone like Ranmaru. Ren knew that Ranmaru had no experience with this type of thing, and Ren didn't have much himself, either. He'd curl his finger in Ranmaru, and Ranmaru would let out a sort of choking, breathless sound. It signified that Ren must've found a spot. He cautiously repeats the action, but Ranmaru seems to be taking it in a good way. He'd slow, so that Ranmaru can answer his next question. "Are you ready for me to add another finger, Ran? Or do you still need a moment?"

Ranmaru was about to tell Ren that he could go on- but then he'd pause. He'd shake his head, "S-sorry, I uh... I think I need a second." 

Ren would go back to petting Ranmaru's back with his free hand. At first, he doesn't move at all. "Of course, Ranmaru. We're going at your pace. Just make sure you keep letting me know what that is." Ren gives it another moment of staying still- though it was impossible to miss just how tight Ranmaru was, even with just a single finger. It was going to take time to open Ranmaru up enough to not be in pain, if he wanted to keep going. But that was okay, because Ren would go as slow as Ranmaru needed him to, and his patience wasn't going to run out. "Can I move, baby?"

Ranmaru nods. "You can move." Ren would start his movements up again, and he'd give it a few seconds before he started working on opening Ranmaru up, curling and moving and pressing. Ranmaru would let out a groan, and a shudder. "You can.. I mean, I can handle another finger." Ranmaru would mutter after a moment. His face is ducked, but his blush is affecting the color of his neck and shoulders. Ren uses his free hand to massage one of Ran's shoulders. He ducks his head, pressing a few light kisses to Ran's back as he carefully adds a second finger. He can hear the hiss from Ranmaru. 

"Are you okay? Do you want me to take them out?" Ranmaru shakes his head. 

"No, I'm fine, just- move real slow for a minute." 

"Of course." Ren almost doesn't move at all for a moment, and then he begins to very slowly move his fingers. At first it's very careful, and very gentle. He slowly starts curling his fingers, and the high pitched noise that Ranmaru lets out is needy, and sends an electric jolt through Ren who lets out an involuntary moan of his own. He has to do it again, and when he gets a similar reaction he brings himself together enough to speak. "Oh, baby, Ran, oh that was so pretty~" he coos. "Oh, you're doing so good, babe. I love you." He presses a kiss to the side of Ran's hip. The flush has crept further down his back. "That was so good, my love. You're so good. And you look so good, too." He purrs. He curls his fingers again, and Ran's squirming reaction and the squeak he lets out is so good.

"Can you handle anymore, Ran?" Ren asks, rubbing his back and giving him relief, not moving his fingers. Ranmaru is so out of breath that Ren has to give him a moment. 

"Yeah. I think so." Ranmaru's face is in his hands after his last performance, and Ren does lean forward, pressing his face against Ranmaru's side, and his voice is soft. "You're so pretty, Ran. Please don't hide your face." He nuzzles his nose into Ranmaru's side. "I'm so impressed and proud, Ran. Nothing you do will change that. Remember, if you're done you just need to tell me." 

"I'm okay, Ren. Really. I told you I'd tell you." Ranmaru's voice sounds a bit weak, but with a bit of force he puts his hands back down, not covering his face. 

"Okay." Ren's voice is gentle, and he keeps his face pressed against Ran's side. "Deep breaths, okay? I'm going to spread my fingers." Ranmaru takes a deep, shaky breath, but then he holds it. "Just keep breathin' baby, okay? Don't be scared. I'll let you know when I'm going to do it." He waits until Ranmaru takes a few deep breaths, making sure that he's not holding his breath before saying softly. "I'm going to do it. Keep breathing. You're doing so well." He slowly spreads his fingers, getting a deeper, guttural sound from Ranmaru. He starts small, and he keeps it small until Ranmaru's breaths even out, and then he starts getting bigger, trying to stretch Ranmaru out more. He presses soft kisses into Ran's side. "So good." He breathes out. "I'm so proud, baby." Once Ranmaru's kept his breathing even through Ren really going at it, he asks Ranmaru again- "Okay, baby. Can you handle more?" 

"What's more, Ren?" Ranmaru does sound nervous. 

"Just another finger. We're not doing anything else yet, Ran, I promise." 

Ranmaru pauses for a minute, and then he nods. "Okay, yeah. I can do that." 

"You're sure?"

"Yes, Ren. I am. Really."

"Alright. You're doing so good." He strokes Ran's stomach with his free hand, getting a shiver out of him. While he's distracting him with slow fingers across his stomach, he inserts a third finger, getting a an audible gasp an a 

"Fuck!"

From the man underneath him. "Are you okay?" Ren stills. 

"I think so. Yeah, it's not too bad." Ranmaru's breaths are audible. 

Ren still waits a few minutes before he moves his fingers, very slowly. When Ranmaru doesn't react too much to that, he curls- getting another surprised high pitched noise out of the deep pitched rocker. Ren felt that one. "You're so pretty. So good." He mumbles into Ranmaru's side. Reminding him. He works on getting him stretched out, being slow and careful as usual. Ranmaru was taking it well. Ren really hoped he really was taking it as well as he seemed to be. 

"I think that's the best we can do, Ran, baby. What do you want to do?" He presses kisses on Ranmaru's skin- on any part he can reach. 

"I can do it." Ranmaru says, his voice a bit quiet. 

"You don't have to." Ren reminds him. "You've gone so far, baby. If you don't completely want this, I don't want you to do this."

"I do, Ren." Ranmaru's turned his head. There's still some hesitation, some worry and nerves. But he wanted this. He wanted to be intimate with Ren. He had to at least try. He wasn't sure if he'd like it. What they'd just done hadn't made him feel any more certain. But he hadn't run away from it. He wasn't hurt. Maybe a tad bit sore. "I want to do this with you."

Ren worries his lip between his teeth, and he nods. "Okay. Remember." His voice is quiet. God, he's like a broken record on repeat but he just can't express how important this is- "If you get any second thoughts you tell me and we can be done. Don't you dare try to suffer through anything with me, Ranmaru. 

"I know, Ren. I know how serious you are about this. I won't lie to you. I promise."

Ren gives a smile, still tinged with worry. He carefully removes his fingers, and then moves to use his clean hand to grab Ranmaru's chin, spending his time to give Ranmaru soft, sweet kisses. Ranmaru doesn't try to rush or hasten the kisses. He lets Ren take the lead and he just follows. Ren ends it with a kiss on the top of Ran's head. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too Ren. God, do I fuckin' love you."

Ren gets a condom from the box, and he applies a decent amount more lube than even Ranmaru probably did. "Is this how you want to stay, Ran?"

Ranmaru nods. "Yeah, I uh. I think is going to be the easiest."

"Alright. I'm still going to be checking up on you." 

Ranmaru gives a sheepish chuckle. "I wouldn't expect anything less." Ranmaru would pull a pillow closer to him, laying his forehead on the pillow. Ren would frown. He knows that if he pointed it out Ranmaru would tell him that the position is uncomfortable- and he's sure that it is... but he doesn't really believe that's why he has the pillow. He's just going to have to be very careful to watch Ranmaru. He'd climb behind Ranmaru, and he's lean over to press his chest to Ranmaru's back. He wishes he could see Ran's face, but he doesn't dislike this position. He remembered what Ranmaru did to him, and figured he'd do the same. Hopefully it might help. 

He presses a kiss on the middle of Ran's back. "Okay, baby, I'm going to start with a finger, okay?" Ranmaru would nod, and Ren would carefully reinsert his index finger. It's much easier than it was at first. He would move it, gently, and he'd do it for a moment or two before carefully pulling out. "Okay. Can I put it in?"

Ranmaru takes a deep breath, and he nods. "Yeah. Yeah." 

Ren is extremely careful, and he's as gentle as he can be. It doesn't stop the slightly muffled whimper that stills Ren immediately. "Hey, hey, Ran." He's running his fingers through the bottom of Ran's hair, "Can you look up for me baby?" Ranmaru had his head stuffed into the pillow. It takes him a minute to lift his head, and Ren can almost see a slightly pained look. "I'm going to pull out, okay?"

"No, no, no. Please don't. Can you just... stay there for a second?" 

"Of course. I'm not going to do anything until you're ready." Ren had already made up his mind that he couldn't continue. Maybe another day- sometime after Ranmaru had gotten more comfortable. He'd rub Ranmaru's back, and Ranmaru would duck his head back into the pillow. It'd be at least a minute of two before he'd raise his head again. "How are you doing, sweetheart?" 

"I'm sorry, Ren." Ranmaru's voice is quiet. "I can't do it." 

"Ssh, no. No, it's nothing to be sorry about. Thank you for telling me now." Ren rubs Ranmaru's back. "I have to pull out though, okay, Ran? It's probably going to hurt a little bit." Ranmaru's hands clench tighter into the pillow, and he nods. Luckily Ren hadn't gotten very far, but Ranmaru does make a noise of discomfort when Ren pulls out, despite how careful Ren's trying to be. When Ren is fully out, Ranmaru's legs buckle and he can't quite catch himself. Ren rushes to help Ranmaru readjust, and Ranmaru stays silent. "I'm going to clean up and I'm going to be right back here, alright?"

True to his word, Ren takes care of what cleanup he has to do quickly, coming back to Ranmaru. Ranmaru is quiet, and he hasn't gotten himself under the covers. He looks upset, which hurts Ren's heart to see. Ren carefully maneuvers the covers so that Ranmaru is underneath them. He gets behind Ran, wrapping his arms around him. He just stays silent and holds him for an indecipherable amount of time. Ren rubs calming circles on Ranmaru's chest. "Hey, sweetheart. Talk to me, please?" 

"I'm sorry Ren. I know you wanted this. And I did, too, I really did. I just... couldn't do it." Ranmaru lets out a heavy breath, his eyebrows furrowing. 

He needs to listen to Ren. He knows that he didn't disappoint Ren because Ren keeps telling him but- 

"You were able to do it for me. I just don't understand why I couldn't." 

Ren presses his lips against the back of Ran's neck. "Everyone's different, Ran. It's not your fault. And just because you couldn't do it today doesn't mean you won't ever be able to. We just need to take it slower, is all, okay? And even if you decide that you don't like it, or we can't get you comfortable enough to get it to work, it doesn't matter." Ren squeezes him lightly. "I love you. And having sex with you is really nice." Ren has a grin he can't conceal and Ran can tell. "And it doesn't matter how we do it. And even if we couldn't ever touch each other, I'd still love you. But that's not the case." Ren playfully squeezes Ranmaru's hip, making the other man give a half hearted scoff. "So please don't beat yourself up over this, Ran. This doesn't change anything. Besides." He presses his nose against Ranmaru's shoulder, wrapping his leg around Ranmaru's waist. "I don't think anything can beat your mouth, baby." His voice is sultry- but Ranmaru can't take it seriously. Ranmaru can't help but laugh, and when he starts laughing, Ren joins in. "There we go. See. That's what I like. You. And you laughing at me."

"Ren you should record yourself. Sometimes you say the dumbest shit. You'd laugh too." Ranmaru puts his hands over Ren's. He's surprisingly alright being the little spoon. He might even admit that right now, it's kind of nice. "But it's charming. Most of the time." Ranmaru yawns, closing his eyes. "But thanks. I needed that." His words sound informal, but his voice holds the emotion Ren's speech instilled in him. "Love you." He mumbles, already half asleep.

Ren chuckles, kissing his shoulder softly, before settling in. He was going to be here for at least a few hours. "I love you too, Ran."

"D'you really have to go?" Ranmaru sighs, watching Ren get dressed from his spot in his bed. He had never found his bed large. If anything, it was a little small. But after sleeping with Ren in, in all meanings of the word, it felt fucking giant. 

"I wish I didn't, but it's a STARISH meeting. And I am the R in that band, you know." Ren would smile. "As much as I'd love to stay with you in bed for another day, it's as the saying goes. Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

"So you're telling me you have time to stand there and quote things at me but you can't just lay in bed and quote things at me?" 

Ren chuckles, walking over, but only to kiss Ranmaru at his forehead. "I've got to go. But I'll be back." Ren heads over to the door, blowing a kiss and wink. "I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys liked it, let me know. Maybe I'll make more chapters?


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